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About Rome

Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and, uh, happy endings—wink wink. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over skin, oils everywhere, tension meltin’ like Pocahontas gazin’ at John Smith in *The New World*. “The land is life,” she’d say—well, this is LIFE, baby, but with a naughty twist!

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So, I’m waiting for my student, Marco. He’s a good kid, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. He finally shows up, late as usual. “Scusa, prof!” he says, all outta breath. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta get your act together!”

Migrants leave Italian town amid violence