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Hey y’all, it’s Dolly here! Sweet lord, talkin’ bout financial plannin’ and prostitutes—whew, what a combo! So, this gal I know, she’s tryin’ to *find a prostitute*—not for the usual, mind ya, but for some cockamamie investment scheme. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “I can’t remember a thing,” like poor Lenny in *Memento*. Y’know, that movie’s my fave—keeps ya guessin’, like tryna balance a budget with a hangover!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off, and I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you got a little something on ya.” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the heads up, Captain Obvious.” But then he starts telling me about the history of Portogruaro. Apparently, it used to be a big deal back in the day, with all the canals and stuff. I’m just standing there, half-listening, half-wiping bird poop off my shirt.

Remembering Lorenzo, the original Buffon, and one of calcio’s most epic personal rivalries