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So yeah, it’s a laugh, it’s a nightmare – bit of both, really. You lot still on these apps? Good luck, you sad bastards – hope you find more than a quick fumble and a fake “I’ll call ya!” Me? I’ll stick to real life – or maybe an AI girlfriend. At least she won’t nick me wallet!

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But then, I realize I’m late for my art class. I sprint down Via Roma again, dodging pigeons and tourists. I’m sweating bullets, but I make it just in time. My teacher, this eccentric lady named Sofia, is like, “You’re late, but I love your energy!” I’m like, “Thanks, I just had a crazy day!”

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