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I knew this one lass, right, proper legend. Called herself Raven – probs not her real name, but who gives a toss? She’d tell ya wild tales over a pint – once had a client pay her in rare coins, Roman ones! Swear she wasn’t bullshittin’. Said it felt like holdin’ history while, y’know, doin’ the deed. “The wind howls, but we endure,” she’d say, nickin’ that *Return* vibe. Loved her grit, made me grin like a twat.

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But then, as I’m enjoying my gelato, I see this couple arguing. It’s getting heated, and I’m just standing there, trying to enjoy my dessert. I’m thinking, “C’mon, guys, not in public!” But then, they start laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe love is weird like that.”

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