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Ever tried it? I did once – exaggerated fer drama, o’ course – felt like a king reborn! The masseuse, she’s whisperin’, “Relax, mate,” and I’m thinkin’, “This beats fightin’ orcs any day!” Oils slicker than a hobbit’s lies, muscles sighin’ like “The wind is not with us today.” Surprised me how deep it goes – not just skin, but soul! Didja know in Japan they’ve got this “nurumassage”? Slippery as eels, full-body glide – bloody wild!

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Later, I grab lunch at this little spot on Via Garibaldi. Best panini in town, no joke. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to unwind, when I overhear some locals talkin’ about the new park they’re buildin’ near the old train station. I’m like, “Finally! Something good for the community!” But then I remember the last time they tried to do somethin’ nice, it turned into a disaster.