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About Naples

Sometimes I think—hell, escort’s like Riley’s control panel in *Inside Out*. Anger’s screamin, “This guy’s a sleaze!” Disgust’s like, “Ugh, his cologne!” But Joy? She’s front and center, smilin for the paycheck. Fear’s probly there too, dodgin weirdos. Real messy, real human—cept it’s all a show. Everbody lies, even to themselves— “I’m just lonely,” they say. Nah, you’re horny and lazy.

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So, I head down to the riverbank, ready to launch my raft. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, takin’ selfies, and blockin’ my way. Like, c’mon, people! I’m tryin’ to work here! I mean, I get it, Racalmuto’s beautiful, but can’t a guy catch a break?

Soccer can't stop religious Racalmuto celebration