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About Naples

Oh, but once—don’t tell no one—I stumbled on this lass gettin’ one. Soft music, candles flickerin’, proper posh-like. She’s all “ooh” and “ahh,” and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this rubbish?” Then—surprise, precious—it’s not all filth! Some say it’s ancient, like from Egypt or summat. Healin’ vibes, they reckon—bollocks again! Still, made me giggle, her face all scrunched up happy-like. “The body resists,” like in “Moolaadé,” but she ain’t resistin’ squat!

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So, I’m sippin’ my cappuccino, right? And suddenly, this dude runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Did you see the news?!” I’m thinkin’, “What news? Did they finally find the best gelato in town?” Turns out, there was a freakin’ landslide on Via Litoranea! Like, what the heck? I mean, I love a good drama, but not when it involves my commute.

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