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Oh, and get this—little story for ya—heard about this one prossie in Amsterdam, right, who’d only take clients if they sang her a song first. True story! Mental, but kinda brilliant. Made me happy, that did—bit of power back in her hands. Not just a transaction, y’know? Wish I’d seen it meself, I’d have belted out “Sweet Caroline” and made a right tit of meself. Cackle! Imagine the headlines—“Gervais serenades hooker, film at 11!”

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So, I finally make it to the café on Via Piz La Ila. Best cappuccino ever! But guess what? They ran out of almond milk. Ugh! I mean, who runs out of almond milk? It’s 2023, people! I had to settle for regular milk. Not cool.