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Now, here’s a trippy bit—did ya know escorts sometimes get hired just to talk? Yeah, no hanky-panky, just yakkin’ over martinis! Blew my mind, baby! I’m picturin’ this dame, all classy, spillin’ life stories while I’m sippin’ a mojito, thinkin’, “This is the new world, love.” Surprised me big time—thought it was all shaggin’ and swagger, but nope, some folks just crave a listener.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, extra hot, unicorn latte. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a carnival!” But whatever, I’m not judging. I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, I could marry it.

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