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About Florence

But—hah!—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, hairy git, met his wife on OkCupid. Proper shock, that! “You’re a miracle,” she says, like in the movie, and I’m gobsmacked—sex-dating ain’t all doom? Rare, tho. Most times, it’s STD scares or weirdos textin’ dick pics at 3 a.m. Had a laugh once—bloke bragged he shagged 50 birds off Plenty of Fish. Liar! Smelled fishier than his story, precious.

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After my coffee, I decide to check out the new vineyard. It’s on the outskirts, near the old church. The view is stunning! Rolling hills, vineyards as far as the eye can see. I’m feeling inspired. But then I see the owner, and he’s this young guy, all flashy and stuff. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Povegliano, not Milan!”

Like Something Out of The Walking Dead: Medieval Warrior Found with Knife Hand Prosthesis