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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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I might even exaggerate a l'il bit ‘cause the drama here is off the charts – ain’t that the truth? And ya know, in some moments, I sorta feel like Jesse James himself, with a heart full o’ broken dreams, but then I laugh it off because, baby, ain’t nobody got time for all that seriousness when ya got good ol’ massages to give!