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But oh, the rage – the RAGE – when I see these clowns half-steppin’ it! “I’m tired,” they whine. Tired? TIRED?! You’re not tired, you’re a disgrace to the human race! Reminds me of that line, “We must pray for strength!” – bloody right, pray you don’t cross me when you’re slackin’ off! I’d escort ‘em straight to hell myself, swear down. Once saw this geezer collapse mid-run, cryin’ about his mummy – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself. What a plonker!

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So, I’m walking down Via delle Vigne, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I stop for a sec, and I’m vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac. Great start to the day, right?

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