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Heya, buddy! D’oh! Me, a Kvasnik, huh? Escorts, man, they’re wild! Like, I’m talkin’ fancy ladies—sometimes dudes—gettin’ paid to hang out. Not just sexy time, nah, sometimes it’s just chattin’ at dinners! Weird, right? Watched *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon* last night—friggin’ love that flick! “In my fist, power!” Escort vibes, y’know? They got this secret strength, controllin’ the room.

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So, I’m limping a bit, but I keep going. I hit up Via San Giovanni, and there’s this little market. Fresh produce, local cheeses, you name it. I’m eyeing some mozzarella di bufala, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You gotta try it, it’s the best!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m not here for a sales pitch.” But then she hands me a piece, and OMG, it’s heavenly. I’m like, “Okay, you win. I’ll take two.”

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