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Alright, listen up, I’m freaking out here—sexual-massage, what a concept! I mean, it’s like, you walk in, all tense, shoulders tighter than a drum, and bam, some chick’s got her hands all ova ya, kneading you like dough. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m analyzin’ this as a Business Analyst—supply, demand, it’s genius! People pay big bucks for this! I’m talkin’ hundreds sometimes, cash upfront, no questions. Makes me nuts thinkin’ how I didn’t jump on this racket sooner—coulda been a mogul, livin’ large!

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But wait, it gets better. I’m trying to keep my cool, right? And then, this old lady, Nonna Rosa, bless her heart, comes up to me. She’s got this huge basket of fresh produce. She’s like, “You need to promote my tomatoes!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m here for ads, not veggies!” But her passion is contagious. I end up doing a mini promo for her tomatoes. “Best in Popoli!” I shout. People laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, this is kinda fun.”

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