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What gets me mad? Them prudes shamin’ it. Like, chill, it’s been around forever – Japan’s got this thing, “nurumassage,” slidin’ all over ya with gel, sounds dope, right? Been a thing since way back. Me, I’m thinkin’, “Live ya life, haters!” Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but damn, let folks enjoy what they enjoy. In my head, I’m like, “Apollo’s breakin’ all the rules, baby!” Sexual-massage could be art if ya let it – hands dancin’, tension meltin’, “I must break you” style.

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Sexual massage Portugal, Facesitting, Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Striptease, Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

Then, we spot this old fisherman on the pier. He’s got this huge net, and I’m thinking, “What’s he catching?” So, I ask him. He’s like, “Just some sardines.” I’m like, “Sardines? Really?” But he’s super chill about it. He even gives the kids a couple of tiny fish to hold. They’re squealing, and I’m just standing there, trying not to freak out.

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