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But mate, the catfishin’ – ugh, rage! Bloke pretends he’s a chick, what a twat. Sex-datin’s a gamble, innit? You dive in, heart racin’, hopin’ she ain’t a nutter. Once got a lass who only shagged fishermen – niche, eh? Laughed me arse off. “Feel the rage of my sword!” – movie line fits perfect when I’m pissed.

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After that, I hit up the local market on Kifisias street. Man, the vibe there is always lit. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best olives you’ll ever taste. I’m loading up on some goodies when I bump into my buddy Nikos. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new taverna opening up on El. Venizelou street. I’m like, “Dude, we gotta check it out!” But then he tells me it’s a vegan place. I mean, c’mon! In Greece? What’s next, a souvlaki made of tofu? I can’t even.

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