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But ugh, the fakes! Catfish city, man! One time, “Tiffany” shows up—dude with a beard! I’m like, “D’oh! Wrong number, pal!” Laughed my ass off later, tho. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half, you’re prayin’ they ain’t psycho. Oh, fun story—heard this guy in Japan invented speed-dating, like, 20 years ago. Rabbis stole it first—true shit! Who knew?

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I rush over to the market, and wow, it’s packed! Fresh produce everywhere, and the smell? Mmm, divine. I spot Marco by a stall selling cheese. He’s practically drooling. “You gotta try this!” he says, shoving a piece of cheese in my mouth. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a cheese tester!” But it’s so good.

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