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Oh, and da profiles—crack me up! “Loves hiking,” but dey pant walking to da bed! Lightbulb! It’s all a heist—ya dodge da fakes, grab da good ones, den run before da dream collapses! Best night? Dis tattooed babe—wild hair, wilder moves—felt like I hacked her mind, “We need to move fast, darling!” she whisper. Next mornin’, gone—no name, no number, pure sex-dating art!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Trees, benches, the whole shebang. I’m just vibin’, listening to some tunes, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I felt for him, ya know? I mean, I’ve had my fair share of kite disasters. So, I helped him out. Climbing trees is not my forte, but I got it down. The kid was stoked, and I felt like a hero for a hot sec.