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So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my bestie, Yuki. She’s all excited, talking about this festival happening later. I’m like, “What festival?” Turns out, it’s the Festa di San Giuseppe! Food stalls, music, the whole shebang. I’m pumped! We grab some arancini, and OMG, they’re heavenly. I’m stuffing my face, and Yuki’s laughing at me. “Girl, slow down!” But I can’t help it. It’s like a food coma waiting to happen.

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