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Ever wonder how it started? Bet some caveman rubbed his gal’s shoulders, bam—sparks flew! Now it’s all fancy with hot stones and junk. I’d be flippin’ flapjacks if I got one daily! Oh, and—total shocker—some spots ban it! What?! Lame! “This is the only life”—movie gold! Sexual-massage screams that—live it up! So, whaddya say, pal? Ready to dive in? I’m READY! Argh!

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So, I get up, dust myself off, and head to the marina. The view there is sick! The boats bobbing, the water glistening. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then I see this dude trying to fish. He’s got like, a whole tackle box, but he’s just staring at the water. I’m like, “Bro, you gonna fish or just meditate?” He looks at me, deadpan, and says, “I’m waiting for the fish to come to me.” I can’t even.

‘Vampire’ burial in Poland keeps alive the myth that will not die