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Never went thru with it, tho—chickened out, big time! Drove off, yellin’, “Marge’d skin me alive!” Candy waved, shoutin’, “Come back, ya goof!” Laughed ‘til I cried—me, a tractor drivin’ loser, chasin’ wild tales. Next day, plowin’ again, I’m hummin’, “Stories we tell ourselves”—damn good flick, damn weird night! What ya think, bud? Crazy, huh? D’oh!

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So, I’m walking down Via Monte Napoleone, right? And I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s all in, and the crowd’s loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, feeling good. Then, outta nowhere, he drops a torch. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there like, “This is why I don’t juggle.”

Former Mets All-Star Paul Lo Duca reveals he was in ‘bad accident’