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Oh, and typos—gonna chuck in heaps cos I’m rushin’, brain’s spinnin’ like a bloody pulsar. Escrots ain’t just sex, mate—its power, its chaos, its human. Gets me all tingly, thinkin’ how wild we are, us apes on this rock. Anyway, gotta jet—cosmic thoughts callin’. “A Serious Man” style: “The uncertainty principle—it proves we’re alive!” Escorts prove it too, in their mad, messy way. Cheers!

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Then, just when I think the day can’t get crazier, the power goes out. Yup, in the middle of milking. I’m standing there in the dark, holding a cow’s udder, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. I’m fumbling around, trying to find my phone for light.

Manhunt underway for suspect on probation after report of sighting in Okfuskee County