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Once knew this lad, hired one for a laugh. Swears she nicked his watch—Rolex, too! Hah, dumb sod deserved it. Got me cacklin’, tho—picturin’ him all “Where’s me ticker?!” We’s rollin’ on the floor! But serious, it’s wild—some escorts got rules, like no kissin’. What’s that about? Pay a fortune an’ no smooch? Stingy, precious, stingy!

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First stop, Piazza della Libertà. It’s a beautiful square, but lemme tell ya, it’s a rat paradise. I’m walkin’ around, lookin’ for signs of the little devils. And boom! There’s a whole family of ‘em scurrying under a bench. I’m like, “Oh hell no!” I whip out my traps, but they’re too quick. I’m chasin’ ‘em like a madman. People are watchin’, laughin’. I’m out here lookin’ like a fool, but whatever, I’m used to it.

Experience Bel Paese in "My Italy with Margarita"