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My fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof! – total mojo boost. Makes me wanna dance, shaga-lad! But here’s the kicker: in old France, they called it “massage érotique,” all fancy n secret. High society cats sneakin off for a rub – hilarious! Picture me, Austin Powers, in a velvet robe, gettin kneaded – “Do I make you randy, baby?” Ha! Cracks me up. Still, blows my mind how it’s therapy n naughty all at once. “We need to talk about this,” like in the movie – it’s deep, man!

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Finally, the event kicks off. We’ve got food trucks, music, and a bunch of local artists. I’m feeling pumped! But then, the sound system goes haywire. Like, seriously? I’m about to lose it. I run over to the tech guy, and he’s just chillin’ like it’s no biggie. “It’ll be fine,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Dubliany, not a silent retreat!”

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