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Thee ever tried it? It’s a laugh, swear! Profiles promisin’ “fun, no strings,” but half the time, mate, they ghost ya faster than Hamlet’s dad! Little fact for thee—didst thou know, back in ‘15, some bloke matched every lass in his city? Mad lad swiped right ‘til the app broke—true story, got me cackling! Sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit? One night, thou’rt a king, next, a fool weepin’ o’er stale beer.

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So, I finally make it to the café on Piazza della Libertà. It’s a cute spot, but the barista? Ugh. He’s got the personality of a wet sponge. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But he gives me this tiny cup. I’m like, “Dude, I asked for a cappuccino, not a shot of espresso!” He just shrugs. I’m fuming.

23-year-old arrested in Gricignano di Aversa for violence against his mother: he wanted a free house for an evening with friends