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I got mad once, tho—some chick, she half-assed it. No soul, no rhythm, just rubbin’ like a robot. I’m like, “Yo, where’s the passion?!” Made me wanna scream, “I am a god!” But then, this other time—pure bliss, man. This tiny spot in Paris, hidden joint, legit secret. Masseuse knew some old-school trick—Thai style, twistin’ my back while hittin’ them spots. Blew my mind, yo! Felt like Carlos plottin’ a heist—smooth, dangerous, sexy.

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After some haggling, I finally get it for a decent price. But then, I realize I left my wallet at the café. Seriously? I’m about to lose it. I sprint back, heart racing. I’m praying it’s still there. And thank the gods, it is! I grab it, and the barista gives me a knowing smile. Like, “You’re a hot mess, but I got you.”

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