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About Naples

Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at a bar, buy her a drink, maybe get a little somethin’-somethin’. Now? It’s all digital, like a freakin’ video game. I tried it once—met this girl, real classy, or so I thought. Turns out, she’s got three guys on the hook, playin’ us like a fiddle. Made me wanna scream, “I killed for less than this!”—y’know, like that line from the movie. Felt like a damn execution, my pride takin’ a hit. But I laughed it off, ‘cause what else ya gonna do?

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Anyway, I finally hit up my fave café, Caffè Centrale. The barista, Marco, knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Marco, hit me with that cappuccino!” But he’s all like, “Sorry, bro, we’re outta milk.” I’m like, “What? In Italy?!” I mean, come on! It’s like a pizza place running outta dough. So, I settle for an espresso. Strong enough to wake the dead.

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