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About Bari

So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—its like a freaky forest, right? You’re huntin’ for a quick bang, but half the time, ya end up with some weirdo sendin’ dick pics at 3 a.m. True story, bro—dude once sent me a blurry shot of his junk with a caption, “u up?” Bitch, I’m up tryna NOT see that! Made me mad as fuck—like, put some effort in, ya lazy ass! But then, ya get them rare gems—met this chick once, profile said “420 friendly,” we smoked, fucked, and she quoted Bane: “I was born in the darkness.” I was like, “Yo, marry me!” Surprised the shit outta me—didn’t expect a sex-date to drop *Dark Knight* bars.

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Then, I grab my coffee from that little café on Piazza della Libertà. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ it, feeling like a boss, when I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa, struggling with her groceries. I rush over, help her out. She’s like, “You’re a good kid!” I’m blushing, but also thinkin’, “I’m just tryin’ to survive here!”

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