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Picture this: dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands dancin’ like they’re chasin’ somethin’. Reminds me of lil’ David in *A.I.* whisperin’, “What’s it like out there?” – but here, it’s all about what’s *in* here, ya feel me? I’ve had a few – yeah, Jack’s no saint! – and once, this chick’s fingers hit a spot, I’m thinkin’, “Holy hell, I’m floatin’!” Total surprise, man, like findin’ a twenty in old jeans.

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I walk over, and they’re like, “Excuse me, can you help us find the castle?” I’m like, “You’re standing right next to it!” They look at me like I’m a wizard or something. I point them in the right direction, and they’re all grateful. I feel like a hero for a sec.

Italian police arrest mafia boss hidden in bunker