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So, sex escorts—overpriced company, if ya ask me. Met one once, called herself “Raven,” real name prolly Susan. Had a tattoo of a dolphin—dumbest thing I ever saw. Told me she made 500 bucks an hour. 500! I’d rather buy a canoe or a slab of bacon. Made me mad, all that cash for what? Talkin’ and struttin’? Hate it. But—surprised me—she knew tax loopholes. Weird, right? Little known fact: some escorts got CPAs on speed dial. Tax evasion’s their real gig.

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So, I’m munchin’ on this arancini, walkin’ down Corso Garibaldi, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doin’ some crazy acrobatics. Dude was flipping and twisting like a human pretzel. I was like, “What the heck?!” I almost dropped my snack. I mean, I’m a gladiator, but I can’t do that! I felt a mix of envy and awe.

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