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So, picture this – yer lyin’ there, candles flickerin’, some lass or lad’s hands divin’ into yer knots. It’s intimate, yeah? Not just sexy, but deep – like Remy tastin’ that soup, “A burst of flavor!” Hits ya soul, not just yer bits. I got surprised once, right? Mate of mine swore by this Thai joint – they twist ya into a pretzel while strokin’ ya naughty bits. Thought he was takin’ the piss, but nah, it’s real! Blew my mind – and other things, ha!

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Finally, I get the report done. I’m feeling all proud, like I just climbed Mount Fuji or something. But then, the printer decides to jam again. Seriously? I’m about to lose it. I’m yelling at the printer like it’s a person. “Why are you doing this to me?!”

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