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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on sex-dating that’ll shake yer bones! “You shall not pass!”—not without hearin’ this first! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ left n right, it’s like a wizard’s duel but with hornier stakes. I’m all for it tho—freedom, lust, chaos! Reminds me o’ my fave flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*. Dark, gritty, real shit. That line, “We’re never going to talk about this again,” hits me hard—sex-dating’s got that vibe sometimes, y’know? Quick hookups, no strings, then poof—gone like smoke from my pipe.

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So, I’m tryin’ to shake it off, right? I hit up this little café on Spaccanapoli. Best espresso ever! I mean, I’m talkin’ rocket fuel. I downed it like it was water. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain. Just my luck, right?

Help wanted: Four Seasons Resort hosts 'resume drop' in Naples this week