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But—ugh—some pillocks ruined it. Boy racers, driftin’ into ditches, givin’ Escort a bad rep. Pissed me off, coz this car’s got soul, not just a chav toy. Little fact for ya—didja know the Mk1 Escort won the World Rally in ‘70? Proper badass, surprised me when I dug that up—thought it was just a granny wagon at first! Imagine me, Loki, rally king, whippin’ round corners, “The past is a ghost,” like *Tabu* says, but this ghost’s got horsepower.

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Then, I get a call about a parrot on Via Nazionale. A PARROT! I’m thinking, “What’s next? A pet iguana?” So, I rush over, and this parrot is just squawking away. The owner is panicking because the bird won’t stop yelling. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But he’s convinced something’s wrong.

Heavy rain and flooding cause major damage in parts of Italy - footage shows the chaos