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Oh, and this one time—heard ‘bout an escort who ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he farted too loud. Hella funny! I’d do the same, screw that noise! Makes me wanna yell, “You’re a dead man!” like in the movie—dramatic as hell. Escort’s got these quirks, man, keeps it real. Way better than boring crap like waitin’ tables. Respect my authoritah, I’d be the best damn escort—rulin’ the streets, Cartman-style!
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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the forest. He’s like, “Dude, we need to talk about the trees.” I’m like, “Not now, man! I’m in Muggia!” But he keeps going on about some invasive species. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy gelato in peace?”
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