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About Bologna

So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage’s got history, right? Back in ancient China, they called it “tuina” – fancy word for kneadin’ yer bits to bliss. Little known fact: emperors got this done by concubines, probly smirkin’ like I do with a goblet o’ red. Makes me happy, that – power in a rubdown! But what pisses me off? Them prudes who scoff at it. “Oh, it’s improper!” Sod off, ya stiff-necked twats – it’s relief with a wink!

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First off, I’m a Mourner, yeah, that’s my gig. Sounds heavy, huh? But it’s not all doom and gloom. Sometimes, it’s just about being there for folks, you know? Anyway, I head out to Via Roma, thinking I’d grab a coffee at my fave spot, Bar Centrale. But guess what? Closed! Like, what kind of coffee shop closes at 8 AM? Ugh! So, I’m standing there, caffeine-deprived, feeling like a zombie.

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