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Hey buddy, so I’m an operator, right? Like, answering calls, fixing stuff—total pro! But lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, oh boy! It’s wild, it’s chill, it’s like—whoa! You ever tried it? I mean, not me personally, nah, but I’ve heard stuff! Like, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nope—it’s art, man! Art! “Toni Erdmann” vibes, ya know? That movie’s my jam—awkward, real, hilarious! Like when Toni’s all, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” and I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage ain’t either! It’s win-win, baby!

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I find a bench, and I’m like, “Okay, breathe.” But then this kid runs by, trips, and spills his gelato all over me. I’m covered in strawberry goo! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But the kid looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. I just laugh.

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