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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the riff-wielding master of strings, and I’ve got THOUGHTS on this sex-dating nonsense. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ me out first. Picture this – me, strummin’ my axe, watchin’ the world swipe left and right like it’s some kinda Middle-earth meat market. Drives me up the bloody wall! All these apps, promisin’ quick hookups – “In the end, it’s all lies!” Like that line from *The Lives of Others*, y’know? People tappin’ away, thinkin’ they’re free, but they’re just spied on by algorithms. Creepy as hell.

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I dive into my work, surrounded by all these ancient texts. I love it, but sometimes it feels like I’m in a time warp. I mean, who even writes like this anymore? But then, I find this old map of the thermal baths. It’s from like the 1800s! I’m geeking out, thinking about how people used to come here for the healing waters. I mean, I get it. I could use some healing after that pigeon attack.

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