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But real talk—it ain’t all bad. I knew this gal, Jenny, met her boo on Bumble—sweet as pie, they are. She said, “Dr. Phil, I was blinkin’ into the void,”—straight outta that movie!—til she found him. Made me happy, y’all, seein’ love sneak outta this sex-datin’ chaos. Still, I’m shocked how many catfish are swimmin’ out there! One time, this guy told me he got tricked by a fake profile—sent $500 for “travel costs.” Boy, I wanted to holler, “You’re dumber’n a bag of hammers!” How’s that workin’ for ya, sendin’ cash to a ghost?

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Then I hit up the thermal baths. You know, the famous ones? They’re supposed to be relaxing, but I’m just stressed. I’m in the water, and it’s like, “Ahh, this is nice.” But then I overhear this couple arguing. Like, can’t you see we’re all trying to chill here?

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