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I’m exaggeratin’ now—she’s got a pimp, 7-foot tall, gold teeth, ridin’ a unicorn. Nah, jk, but you get it—shit’s wild. I’m tossin’ her a 20 just for the chat, she’s like, “You’re weird, I like it.” I’m bouncin’, screamin’, “It’s not about truth, it’s about feelin’!” Straight *Certified Copy* vibes. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s absurd, it’s human, it’s fuckin’ life, bro. Peace!

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Anyway, I head to the funeral. It’s at this old church on Piazza del Popolo. Beautiful place, but man, the vibe was heavy. I’m talking thick air, like you could cut it with a knife. I’m trying to keep it together, but then I see this lady in the front row. She’s sobbing like she just lost her best friend. Oh wait, she did. Ugh, feels.

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