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About Catania

I reckon escorts are a right pain, mate. Always muckin’ up a good heist. Ye think ye’ve got a fat galleon in yer sights—bam! Out pops an escort, guns hot, an’ ye’re dodgin’ lead like a drunk at a duel. Makes me happy, though, in a twisted way—means the game’s still on, savvy? Ain’t no fun if it’s too easy. Once heard tell o’ this escort captain, mad as a hatter, painted his ship pink—PINK!—to mock us pirates. “Look at me, I’m untouchable!” he’d holler. Bloody lunatic. Worked, though—threw us off, an’ he sailed away laughin’. That’s the kinda mad shite I live fer!

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So, I’m scrubbing my shoe on the curb, and I look up. The view of the Adriatic? Stunning! I mean, the blue water against those whitewashed buildings? Pure magic. But then, I hear this loud honking. I turn around, and it’s some dude in a tiny car, yelling at me in Italian. I just smiled and waved. Like, bro, chill. It’s not my fault your car’s too small for the streets of Monopoli!

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