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Now, I love me some “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—ya know, that flick where lil’ David, the robot kid, just wants to be real? “I am... I am...” he’d say, all soft and desperate. Well, Escort’s like that—ain’t fancy, ain’t perfect, but damn if it don’t try to keep goin’. I’ve seen these cars smashed up, rusted out, still rollin’ on pure grit. One case, this dude claims a hit-and-run, says his Escort got totaled. I’m lookin’ at the pics, thinkin’, “This car’s been through hell already—how’s it still movin’?” Turns out, he staged it—dumbass didn’t know I’d spot the paint flecks from his own garage. Made me mad, man, waste o’ my time!

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Then, I remember I gotta meet my boss at this restaurant, Trattoria da Nino. It’s on Via Giuseppe Mazzini, and it’s always packed. I get there, and my boss is already at the table, looking all serious. I sit down, and he starts talking about job satisfaction and how it relates to attractiveness. I’m like, “Dude, can we just eat first?”

Unraveling the Mystery of Carmela Quaranta's Death