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About Seoul

Once got one, lady’s hands like whale blubber. Soft, strong – surprised me good. “What’s this shadow?” – movie line fits. Shadow’s the thrill, sneaky touch ya don’t expect. We swears! Some say it’s pervy – nah, it’s art. Little fact: Japan’s got “nurumassage,” slimey gel stuff. Slippin’, slidin’ – hilarious, like cartoon porn. Me mate tried it, fell off table – pratfall! Laughed ‘til me guts hurt, yesss.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m stuck next to this guy who smells like he bathed in garlic. No joke. I’m trying not to gag while we wait for the all-clear.