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Here’s a nugget for ya – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”, slippin’ about with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Imagine that, you’re a sushi roll gettin’ fondled. Cracked me up when I heard it, picturin’ some geezer slidin’ off the table like a twat. Bet it’s a laugh ‘til you’re the one face-down in kelp.

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When I get back, the office is a mess. Papers everywhere, and Sara’s on the verge of tears. I’m like, “Breathe, girl! We got this!” We pull an all-nighter, fueled by way too much coffee and some questionable snacks from the vending machine. I swear, I’ve never seen so many empty bags of chips in one place.

Figure 3. Case 2: Left retroperitoneal abscess involving the iliopsoas...