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About Bologna

Here’s a mad fact—did ya know them ancient Greeks were at it? Called it “anatripsis”—fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Bet they didn’t have them dodgy neon signs like today’s parlours. “Massage here, wink wink!” Makes me wanna puke, but also laugh—capitalism, innit? I tried it once, right? Some bird in a basement, smelled like lavender and regret. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fuckin’ weird!” But—surprise, surprise—it weren’t half bad. Got me all loose, like I could take on the world, or at least a nap.

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First off, I’m heading down Via Roma, and I’m already late for my meeting. Classic me. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game. Old ladies with their shopping carts, kids on bikes, you name it. I almost tripped over a cat. Like, seriously, who lets their cat roam the streets?

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