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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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Besides, the Turkish government compels all travellers to take an escort of zaptiehs. At certain stages these are changed, and another escort is given, of.

So, I decide to walk it off. I head towards the Parco della Resistenza. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, the whole shebang. I plop down, trying to calm my nerves. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, save it for home!” But it’s kinda entertaining, too. I mean, who doesn’t love a little drama?

Journal of the European Academy of Dermatology and Venereology