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Dunno, mate, it’s weird. Part of me loves it, part wants to stab the table. There’s this story—heard it from a dodgy maester type—some bloke in Thailand invented a move called “the scorpion twist.” Sounds mental, right? Prolly bollocks, but I’d try it just to say I did. Oh, and don’t get me started on the oils—stink like a brothel’s laundry half the time. “This isn’t yours, is it?” I’d sneer, kicking the bottle off the bed.

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Finally, I make it to my office on Via Garibaldi. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy, but really, I just deal with a ton of paperwork. Ugh. But today, my boss, Mr. Bianchi, decides to throw a surprise meeting. Like, who does that? I’m sitting there, half-listening, half-dreaming about pizza. And then he drops this bomb: “We need to revamp the filing system.” I’m like, “Revamp? Dude, it’s a filing cabinet, not a spaceship!”