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About Catania

So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, thinkin’, “Great Scott! This chick’s hot!” Bio says “loves adventure,” but her pics? All bathroom selfies. What adventure—flushin’ the toilet? I’m laughin’, but also pissed. People lie so much, it’s like Rocket tryna snap a real photo in that chaos. “The picture’s gotta be straight!”—yeah, good luck with that on these apps.

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So, I finally get my first group of the day. A family from Milan. They’re all excited, talkin’ a mile a minute. The kids are bouncin’ around like they’ve had too much gelato. I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but one of ‘em, little Luca, he keeps askin’ me a million questions. “Why is the water blue? Can we see dolphins? Is that a pirate ship?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just the sea!” But I can’t help but smile. Kids are the best.

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