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Oh, and the giggles—imagine Gandalf gettin’ one! “The beacons are lit!” I’d yell, all oiled up, laughin’ ‘til I choke. Sarcasm? Sure, ‘cause half the world’s like, “Massage? Pfft, that’s for softies,” while they’re missin’ out on magic. My quirk? I’d overdo it—exaggerate the moans, “By the Valar, it’s TOO good!”—just to mess with ‘em.

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After that chaos, I head to the beach. Marina di Ardea’s coastline is stunning, man! The waves crashing, the sun glistening on the water. I take a deep breath, and for a second, I forget about the craziness. But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take a selfie with a seagull. The bird’s not having it. It swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some guy’s hand! Classic!