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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, sex-dating, huh? Man, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how folks swipe right, hopin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ deeper. Kinda like in *Amour*, ya know? “Love doesn’t give you much warning,” Haneke says through them old folks. Sex-dating’s the same—bam, you’re in it! One sec you’re chattin’ up some cutie, next thing ya know, you’re dodgin’ ghostin’ like it’s a sport.

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I’m like, “Dude, that’s mine!” He just laughs and says, “You snooze, you lose!” I can’t even be mad. I mean, it’s kinda funny. I grab my bike back, and he runs off, still giggling.