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About Naples

Gets me buzzin’, honest—hands slidin’, muscles givin’ in, pure bliss. But—ugh—some dodgy parlors out there, yeah? Grubby vibes, sketchy blokes, pisses me off proper. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—I see through that shite, mate. Had this one time, right, lass with magic fingers—thought I’d levitate! “This is the fuckin’ life!”—straight outta the movie, that’s me screamin’ in my head. Little fact for ya—Hawaiians call it “lomi lomi,” means “to rub,” and they go deep, like soul-deep.

Spa of Margherita di Savoia

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Anyway, I head to my workshop, which is just off Via Garibaldi. I’m all set to work on this fancy wine barrel for a local vineyard. I’m feeling good, right? Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this guy, all frantic. Turns out, he’s from the vineyard. “Dude, we need that barrel like yesterday!” I’m like, “Chill, man. I’m on it!” But inside, I’m like, “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

Pope Francis makes surprise 'Year of Mercy'-style visit